Life is Like a Rollercoaster, Baby, Baby
My growing frustration with the American "Health Care System" grew exponentially this week after I sat half-naked in a doctor's office and got passed frantic prescriptions for painkillers and referrals to see other doctors - all for a mysterious something that could range from a minor infection to cancer. Three doctors and nearly a month later and we should all be able to, um, at least figure out what is wrong.
So, while gripping these various scribbles on papers I found myself saying things like, "She is my HALF aunt, HALF," bitingly in response to, "It runs in the family, you know," and turning down vicodin in fear of spending the next month of my life in a total haze.
I made it about 5 minutes down the street before I called my mom. She said hello and I cried. I'm not really sure why. It's not really a big deal, but there I was sobbing on 34th and Park Ave, crying for the first time since probably December.
Apparently I have not lost my soul. This is great news! This is FANTASTIC news!
What this means is that the recent vacation was a success. I regained the ability to be scared, so feel, to express it, to want someone here to take care of me and tell me everything was going to be OK. Old habits are hard to shake, however, as I've generally kept my mouth shut and found quite a few awfully cute things at H&M that I just had to have... in addition to a Redskins ticket... and health insurance.
In times like these I think often of those who have it worse off than me. I am so incredibly lucky it almost makes me vomit. Life is hard, sure, but if I lived like a the majority of planet earth does... man, I just don't know.
On a completely unrelated note: tomorrow I have orientation. !!! I have my spiral notebooks and pens and really hope that some part of this semester involves sitting in a library scoping out hot, super-smart men. I mean, man/boys. Soul, this is what we call excited.
So, while gripping these various scribbles on papers I found myself saying things like, "She is my HALF aunt, HALF," bitingly in response to, "It runs in the family, you know," and turning down vicodin in fear of spending the next month of my life in a total haze.
I made it about 5 minutes down the street before I called my mom. She said hello and I cried. I'm not really sure why. It's not really a big deal, but there I was sobbing on 34th and Park Ave, crying for the first time since probably December.
Apparently I have not lost my soul. This is great news! This is FANTASTIC news!
What this means is that the recent vacation was a success. I regained the ability to be scared, so feel, to express it, to want someone here to take care of me and tell me everything was going to be OK. Old habits are hard to shake, however, as I've generally kept my mouth shut and found quite a few awfully cute things at H&M that I just had to have... in addition to a Redskins ticket... and health insurance.
In times like these I think often of those who have it worse off than me. I am so incredibly lucky it almost makes me vomit. Life is hard, sure, but if I lived like a the majority of planet earth does... man, I just don't know.
On a completely unrelated note: tomorrow I have orientation. !!! I have my spiral notebooks and pens and really hope that some part of this semester involves sitting in a library scoping out hot, super-smart men. I mean, man/boys. Soul, this is what we call excited.
posted by AllDeTime at 8:03 PM
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